My perfect life

I like to say that I love my life. I really do. It’s been so freaking good so far and I’m amazed by the fact it’s even getting better!
Living a perfect life is normal for me and I thought it was normal for most people. I mean, if you don’t think your life is amazing, why wouldn’t you change it? I know it’s not as easy as it sounds, but I’m a ‘black-and-white thinker’ which means in my world your life can either be super good or just fucked up…

I posted a collage about my life last week. A good friend of my family told me it’s so good to see people talking positively about their lives, instead of complaining about all the bad things. I am a complainer. I like complaining. But I’m aware that I have so much luck. Being born in a first world country. Having travelled so much already at such a young age…

When I studied in Florida I learned that not everyone lives the perfect life. It made me cry. I had this amazing AP Literature class. It was amazing because of the ridiculously brilliant teacher: Michael Persaud. He taught us so much more than literature. I think I’m gonna write a post about this man some day. Anyway, one day he told us we were gonna play this game where you all stand on an invisible line. Mr. Persaud asked us questions like “Have you ever skipped dinner just because there was no food?” and “Does anyone in your family have a Bachelor degree or higher?” Depending on your answer to his question (yes or no) you had to step forward or backward. During this game I could hardly believe that my friends had gone through such terrible things. Parents in jail, no money for clothes… I cried so much because for 18 years I had just been to naïve to see that not everyone was living a perfect life and that I had to be more than satisfied with mine.

I have experienced what life can be because I travelled. Not because I have had any bad things in my life.
I know how hard life can be and I appreciate that I didn’t have to go through all kinds of rough things to learn this.

The worst thing that has happened to me was losing a friend. It was three days after I told one of my friends that I have such a good life. Tyler died young. I don’t think he thought his life was so perfect, but he participated in making my year in Florida unforgettable!

I’m not sure if I’ll grow old. But I sure as hell lived the fuck out of my perfect life 😉


My very first FESTIVAL!



Oh boy. It’s been on my bucket list for so long and this summer it’s finally gonna happen. After 21 years of living in a country with more festivals than airports I’m going to Mysteryland!

I actually have no clue why I never went. During summer time I was mostly abroad but there are other festivals that I could’ve attended. Anyways, August 24th it’s THE date! Me and my high school sweethearts are going to join one of the most popular festivals in Holland!

I’m really excited and I can’t wait to cross #.24 off my precious bucket list!!! –> for the aftermovie 2012!

Source picture:


“It is not hard to die if you know you have lived.”

– Edie Britt (Desperate Housewives)

If I had to die tomorrow I would die a very satisfied girl.
I’ve traveled. I’ve experienced what love is. I’ve met so many amazing people.

When I heard this quote for the first time I felt something special. I just knew it was the perfect quote for me. Still, when I think about it, it makes me shiver. It helps me to face my biggest fear: Death.

“It is not hard…

Abbey Tongerlo

I’m not religious. I think you may call me an atheist. But I’m a curious atheist and willing to experience almost everything! So when my dad and I agreed how cool it would be to stay in a monastery my mom decided to surprise us by taking us to Abbey Tongerlo in Belgium.

I was surprised by the beauty of the abbey, which I’ll show you later this week. Now I just wanna tell about the room…
There are two kinds of guest rooms: Student Rooms and Normal Rooms. My parents stayed in a large Normal Room which was really nice. The furniture was old but well maintained and it looked like rooms you see in old movies. I stayed in a single Normal Room. It was simple but nice: a bed, armchair, table, dressing table, closet and another chair. But it was good. No TV, no radio, no wi-fi. Nothing like my normal life at all. The hallways were very cold but our rooms were warm and cozy.  The gate closed at 10 pm every night. Since it was my dad’s birthday my parents went out for a drink, but I felt sick and stayed in where I read for hours. It was so good to be able to read without texting or checking my mail every now and then.

The rooms are so quiet. No noise at all. During the day you’ll here the church bells but that’s about it. Apparently many students who are living in the area come to the abbey because they can concentrate without being distracted.

I really liked spending time in my room, even though we didn’t come just to sit and relax.

Like I said, I’ll post more about my weekend later, but for now two self portraits that I took while sitting in the windowsill. Sitting there made me feel like I went 100 years back in time.



My Favorites in Life


My Life’s been pretty perfect so far. I made a collage of the things that make it so good.

1. Laughing: The big picture in the middle is me laughing. I love to laugh! Laughing > Increase in  Endorphins > Feeling Happy (it works that way even with a fake smile!)

2. Sushi: My favorite food. Too bad it’s so freakin expensive but good things are worth paying for 🙂

3. Pink: I collect pink books. My room is pink. And if I could I’d paint this world pink. The color just makes me super happy!

4.Photography: Before I had my Nikon I used to walk around with a compact (pink) Casio. As long as I can remember Im into photography. I just love to capture moments.

5.Sun: Sunrise, sunset, the warmth.. I adore the sunlight. I’m a whole lot more fun on a sunny day.

6. Family and Friends. Friends and Family.

7. Chanel: One of my obsessions. It’s just so chic!

8.Notebooks: I collect notebooks. I love to write and make lists. And I keep a journal

9. Reading: Harry Potter is one of my favs but I read almost every genre of books. When I was young I took my little “Jip and Janneke” suitcase to the library every week again. Back then I read like 10 books a week!

10. High Heels: I really like to dress up and I’m really into high heels. “The higher the better and the sky is the limit” – my own quote 😉

11. Motorcycle & Vespa: I just got my motorcycle drivers license but I don’t have a motorcycle yet. I love to ride. My Vespa is a good alternative and brings me anywhere!

12. Traveling: LOVE LOVE LOVE! Wherever, whenever, anywhere, anytime!

13.Dutch Fastfood: Kroketten, kaassouflé, bitterballen, frikandel… Cheap and delicious!

There’s no particular order in these things. I love them and I love my life!

Fifty Shades Too Much

I usually don’t like to do things just because everyone does it. But that rule doesn’t apply on books. When a book is exposed in every bookshop window it must be good and I must read it. When I first read about the Fifty Shades trilogy I didn’t think it was the kind of literature that you could find in the top 5 of best-selling books. I discovered I was wrong, so I bought the books.

From the moment this posh porn book came out, women all over the world had an excuse to read about sex all day long. Handsome and rich prick Christian falls in love with next-door girl Anastasia. He’s into SM. She’s a virgin. She becomes his sub and climaxes when he’s barely touched her. He falls in love with her and keeps having all kinds of dirty, rough and even ‘vanilla sex’ with her. There’s no real story. The only exciting part, besides the sex scenes, is the stalker issue. A book about a stalker could be very interesting, but E.L. James takes 3 books to tell you whom put the love birds in danger and why. All the other pages are filled with nonsense. Anastasia is obsessed and she does everything because she is in love with this control freak. I keep thinking that the only reason she’s in love is just because this more than handsome creature likes her. I mean, who wouldn’t. But real love? Nahhh! When the characters first meet, you already know they will get married and end up with a baby. Why? Well first of all because there is nothing unexpected to find in these novels. And second because the whole story is based on the way more exciting Twilight Saga.

The first book, Fifty Shades of Grey was kinda interesting. I’ve read books that crossed some invisible lines, but I never read about SM. It was exciting for maybe 7 chapters. The first book of the trilogy is simply boring, although I must say the beginning of the novel is all right, just like any other love story. It was entertaining, until the SM parts kicked in. Pages are filled with details about a contract. It is interesting to get to know more about SM and how the whole commitment works, but when you copy and paste whole paragraphs over and over again I’m suddenly not that interested in the whole Dom VS Sub thingy anymore. I didn’t skip any paragraphs in the first book, except for the endless crap about the contract. The first Fifty Shades was boring, but because it goes on and on about taboo topic SM (ok, let’s say taboo topic sex, since that’s already a big step for the Americans 😉 Just kidding!) I understand why people started reading it. I read it in a week. I was so curious what was gonna happen that I almost finished it in a day, until I found out there wasn’t gonna happen anything at all.

I bought the trilogy all in once so I told myself I had to read the other Fifty Shades too, to be able to criticize the books. So when I went for my international exchange to Barcelona I brought Fifty Shades Darker with me. Reading the second part of the trilogy took me like two months. The story seems to be more exciting in some way, since every now and then there are little peeks of real confrontations, but still the endless sex scenes screw it up even though I keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t forget that the book is about sex with a story line, not the other way around. Anyway, in the second book Ana and Christian are married, too soon of course. It is ridiculous. I didn’t like the whole marriage issue in Twilight and I like it even less now some Cullen-fan tried to copy Meyer her ideas. My mom started to skip the sex scenes in the first book already but I told her I saw it as a lack of respect to the author to skim chapters. I changed my opinion in Fifty Shades Darker. I didn’t skip entire paragraphs but I sure didn’t pay much attention going over the scenes that so many women apparently like. What I like about the second book is that you get to know more about Christian’s past and start to understand why he’s the way he is.

Fifty Shades Freed. Hurray, it was almost over. Although I could’ve put the books away, I really wanted to know what happens in the last book. It took me four months in order to find out. I just couldn’t finish it. Sex scenes I skipped and the only thing I could do was waiting for the ‘big surprise’ when Ana finds out she’s pregnant. After that the books actually becomes kinda fun to read. The events follow each other up quickly, which is new for a Fifty Shades book.
This last part of the trilogy is my favourite because of several reasons. First of all: It’s the last part :). Also because James doesn’t go over every detail anymore, she just describes the honeymoon and other events that have happened the last months. The other pro’s are that the couple get out of their house, which means a new environment, new people, some fights and less sex scenes. I think James realized she couldn’t go on and on about two people who only have an exciting life because of money and sex, so she decided to put all her talent in this last novel. When the epilogue starts I thought I was almost done reading this precious SM story. Couldn’t be more wrong. After the epilogue there’s the ‘Fifty Shades of Christian’, which is kinda interesting because it’s about his childhood. And after that there’s more Christian when you read the first chapter of book one again, only this time from his perspective. Fun fun fun. Well ended. Ana and Christian live happily ever after and James ends with “This is it for now”. For me this sounds more like a threat than a promise. I really hope she won’t continue writing stories like this. It could’ve been so cool, a record breaking book about SM. But James became greedy and decided to use a story that already existed, and spread it over 3 books. I understand the whole money making point of view, but I don’t think it’s fair to let us readers read three books of nonsense while you could’ve written one exciting book.

Long story but its about three books so I allowed myself to write a lot 😉


Picture: Me by Matthijs Munter Photography


Weekly Photo Challenge: Future Tense

Weekly Photo Challenge: Future Tense

San Cristóbal de las Casas – Mexico

Mexico is beautiful. The people, the nature, the most simple things… The Mexican sun makes life brighter.

This little girl, (maybe 10 years old), takes care of her little brother like many children in Mexico. When she saw some friends and me eating ice cream she could not stop staring. Of course we gave her all the food that we had, and she shared it with her little brother.

I’m from a country where less isn’t more. We want it all. For me, this picture represents hope and love. For now and for the future.


(Augustus 2012)Je zal ze nooit vergeten. De meiden uit ‘jouw groepje’ waarmee je de kleuterklas doorliep. Waarmee je je eerste roddels uitwisselde en ruzie maakte over de naam van je Baby Born. Waarmee een handdruk en een simpele “Vrienden?” ruzies oploste en je kettinkjes mee kocht die lieten zien dat jullie voor altijd beste vriendinnen zouden blijven. Het was allemaal zo simpel.

Mijn groepje leek erg hecht. 8 leuke jaren hebben we gehad, maar sinds we de Bavinckschool verlieten zijn we nooit meer als groepje samen geweest. Plannen voor reünies hebben we gemaakt. Af en toe contact via MSN, Hyves en tegenwoordig Facebook is er ook geweest, maar verder dan de status updates van Joanny liken of een berichtje uitwisselen met Melissa kom ik niet.
Uit het oog uit het hart? Geen tijd? Of zijn we gewoon uit elkaar gegroeid? Het maakte niet veel uit. Tot eergisteren. Kiki plaatste een foto die me met een ruk terugbracht naar het schoolplein van toen. Een foto van een echo. Van het kindje dat in haar buik groeit.
Al die tijd maakte ik mezelf wijs dat er niet zo veel veranderd was en dat we gewoon weer konden meeten met het idee nog allemaal hetzelfde te zijn. Dom en naïef natuurlijk, want ook ik ben niet meer het zelfde meisje als toen. We zijn verliefd geworden, hebben mensen verloren, verre reizen gemaakt en levenservaring opgedaan waar de rest van het groepje niets van afweet. En toch zijn we ergens nog steeds de Bavinckgirls die het Team van Happy Clean moesten spelen tijdens de musical van groep 8.
Nu gaat er iets veranderen. Sinds ik DE foto heb gezien ben ik een beetje in de war. Want het is toch een feit dat Kiki een gezin gaat stichten. Ze wordt moeder! Hoeveel meisjes hebben dat wel niet onder het kopje ‘Wat ik later worden wil’ geschreven. En Kiek? Kiki is de eerste! Het is onwerkelijk en natuurlijk zou het er eens van komen. Maar nu heb ik haast. Geen haast om een vriend te vinden, een vaste baan te hebben of zwanger te worden. Maar haast om nog één keer met het groepje van toen samen te zijn voordat de eerste Bavinckbaby ter wereld komt.
In dit geval is uit het hoog niet uit het hart en met het oog op de kleine in Kiki’s buik kan ik niet wachten om nog heel even samen te zijn zonder dat de wereld me wederom duidelijk maakt dat we volwassen worden. En dat de tijd dat we Doen Durf of de Waarheid speelden langer geleden is dan ik dacht.
*De reünie is er ook daadwerkelijk geweest en was ontzettend gezellig. Zo leuk dat we nog steeds contact hebben. Kiki is in januari bevallen van een super mooie zoon: Morris. We gaan hem snel bewonderen!*