Fifty Shades Too Much

I usually don’t like to do things just because everyone does it. But that rule doesn’t apply on books. When a book is exposed in every bookshop window it must be good and I must read it. When I first read about the Fifty Shades trilogy I didn’t think it was the kind of literature that you could find in the top 5 of best-selling books. I discovered I was wrong, so I bought the books.

From the moment this posh porn book came out, women all over the world had an excuse to read about sex all day long. Handsome and rich prick Christian falls in love with next-door girl Anastasia. He’s into SM. She’s a virgin. She becomes his sub and climaxes when he’s barely touched her. He falls in love with her and keeps having all kinds of dirty, rough and even ‘vanilla sex’ with her. There’s no real story. The only exciting part, besides the sex scenes, is the stalker issue. A book about a stalker could be very interesting, but E.L. James takes 3 books to tell you whom put the love birds in danger and why. All the other pages are filled with nonsense. Anastasia is obsessed and she does everything because she is in love with this control freak. I keep thinking that the only reason she’s in love is just because this more than handsome creature likes her. I mean, who wouldn’t. But real love? Nahhh! When the characters first meet, you already know they will get married and end up with a baby. Why? Well first of all because there is nothing unexpected to find in these novels. And second because the whole story is based on the way more exciting Twilight Saga.

The first book, Fifty Shades of Grey was kinda interesting. I’ve read books that crossed some invisible lines, but I never read about SM. It was exciting for maybe 7 chapters. The first book of the trilogy is simply boring, although I must say the beginning of the novel is all right, just like any other love story. It was entertaining, until the SM parts kicked in. Pages are filled with details about a contract. It is interesting to get to know more about SM and how the whole commitment works, but when you copy and paste whole paragraphs over and over again I’m suddenly not that interested in the whole Dom VS Sub thingy anymore. I didn’t skip any paragraphs in the first book, except for the endless crap about the contract. The first Fifty Shades was boring, but because it goes on and on about taboo topic SM (ok, let’s say taboo topic sex, since that’s already a big step for the Americans 😉 Just kidding!) I understand why people started reading it. I read it in a week. I was so curious what was gonna happen that I almost finished it in a day, until I found out there wasn’t gonna happen anything at all.

I bought the trilogy all in once so I told myself I had to read the other Fifty Shades too, to be able to criticize the books. So when I went for my international exchange to Barcelona I brought Fifty Shades Darker with me. Reading the second part of the trilogy took me like two months. The story seems to be more exciting in some way, since every now and then there are little peeks of real confrontations, but still the endless sex scenes screw it up even though I keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t forget that the book is about sex with a story line, not the other way around. Anyway, in the second book Ana and Christian are married, too soon of course. It is ridiculous. I didn’t like the whole marriage issue in Twilight and I like it even less now some Cullen-fan tried to copy Meyer her ideas. My mom started to skip the sex scenes in the first book already but I told her I saw it as a lack of respect to the author to skim chapters. I changed my opinion in Fifty Shades Darker. I didn’t skip entire paragraphs but I sure didn’t pay much attention going over the scenes that so many women apparently like. What I like about the second book is that you get to know more about Christian’s past and start to understand why he’s the way he is.

Fifty Shades Freed. Hurray, it was almost over. Although I could’ve put the books away, I really wanted to know what happens in the last book. It took me four months in order to find out. I just couldn’t finish it. Sex scenes I skipped and the only thing I could do was waiting for the ‘big surprise’ when Ana finds out she’s pregnant. After that the books actually becomes kinda fun to read. The events follow each other up quickly, which is new for a Fifty Shades book.
This last part of the trilogy is my favourite because of several reasons. First of all: It’s the last part :). Also because James doesn’t go over every detail anymore, she just describes the honeymoon and other events that have happened the last months. The other pro’s are that the couple get out of their house, which means a new environment, new people, some fights and less sex scenes. I think James realized she couldn’t go on and on about two people who only have an exciting life because of money and sex, so she decided to put all her talent in this last novel. When the epilogue starts I thought I was almost done reading this precious SM story. Couldn’t be more wrong. After the epilogue there’s the ‘Fifty Shades of Christian’, which is kinda interesting because it’s about his childhood. And after that there’s more Christian when you read the first chapter of book one again, only this time from his perspective. Fun fun fun. Well ended. Ana and Christian live happily ever after and James ends with “This is it for now”. For me this sounds more like a threat than a promise. I really hope she won’t continue writing stories like this. It could’ve been so cool, a record breaking book about SM. But James became greedy and decided to use a story that already existed, and spread it over 3 books. I understand the whole money making point of view, but I don’t think it’s fair to let us readers read three books of nonsense while you could’ve written one exciting book.

Long story but its about three books so I allowed myself to write a lot 😉

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Picture: Me by Matthijs Munter Photography

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5 comments on “Fifty Shades Too Much

  1. Her writing did get rather repetitive. I thought it was a neat storyline, but way too dragged out. I actually tried reading Twilight after 50 Shades… I stopped after the first few pages of the second book – I was too sick of reading stories about pathetically insecure girls who think they’re worth nothing without a man by that point! Why can’t an exciting book about a super confident girl who falls in love become popular for a change?

    And the part where she climaxed from him barely touching here was such crap. Maybe that’s why some people liked it so much though? In an ideal world it would be nice if women were that easy to please and guys actually lasted longer than 30 seconds.. Ha!

    • Hahaha “if guys actually lasted longer than 30 seconds xD”. Maybe it’s time to write a story about the truth!

      You should’ve read Twilight way before these books! But you’re so right! It annoys me that those girls aren’t able to accomplish anythings without their ‘soulmate’.

      I’m reading the hundred-year-old-man-who-climbed-out-the-window-and-disappeared now. Such a relieve after this crap 😉

  2. Pingback: The Hunger Games? YES, PLEASE! | Beforetwentyseven

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