The Friend Zone

(September 2012)

One day you’re in, and the next day you’re out. Worst-case scenario? You’ll stay around and become a member of the zone. The zone no one wants to be in. Where hope and faith is all what’s left. It’s like prison, and you’ll probably never get out. Beware of the friend zone!

It’s such a hot topic. Every time I post a status about hanging out with one of my best male friends, I can guarantee there’ll be a comment about the friend zone. These comments are made by boys, of course. No girl will ever say out loud, or at least not on Facebook, that she friend zoned a particular friend. It’s like kicking a dude in his privates: very painful and not done. What is the friend zone?

Like I said, the friend zone is the place guys don’t wanna be in. At least not when they are interested in becoming more than friends with a girl. Boy tries to hook up with girl. Girl doesn’t wanna hurt boy. Girl tells boy he is such a good friend. BAM! Boy got friend zoned. As simple as it sounds, as simple it is. Where is the friend zone?

The friend zone is around almost every girl. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a beautiful, smart or funny female person. It can be the silly girl next door. It only involves one boy, one girl and one broken heart that’s begging to be healed. The friend zone as a verb.

I friend zone. I friend zoned. I have friend zoned. I will friend zone him. I am going to friend zone him. He has been friend zoned. She has friend zoned him. He will be friend zoned. Boys boys boys.

I’m annoyed by all those boys who are using the term friend zone. Why? Because it makes them look like wussies. Like jealous b**ches.

Example: My best male friend is M. M has been my friend since I’m 14, which is 7 years ago. Maybe back then he liked me more than a friend, but as far as I know he’s always been there for me as a friend. He never tried to kiss me, nor to seduce me. I don’t see M that often since I’m spending a lot of time abroad. But whenever I’m with him, it feels like yesterday we hung out. So yesterday M and I just chilled for a while. We talked, we laughed and got serious about some issues. We took pictures and posted them on Facebook, and of course someone had to comment something about the friend zone. Background information: this particular person had asked me out and I never responded to his message. If he and I would be friends, I’m sure HE would def.  be a member of my friend zone.

Like one hour later I posted on Facebook what a great friend M is. And BAM: a comment about the friend zone. The guy who commented is just an ex-colleague of mine. No ditching involved. But still, I don’t understand why he thought it would be funny to make such a bitchy comment, while I just had a blast with M. Of course M didn’t seem to care. I mean, he’s the one spending time with me and probably couldn’t care less about people who are only enjoying my existence from a distance, but I can imagine he felt embarrassed when someone he didn’t know told him he got friend zoned.

To conclude my speech, I’d like to emphasize that it really ISN’T necessary to tell my friends they got friend zoned. Probably it isn’t necessary to tell anyone that you don’t know.

So to all those heart broken, jealous, friend zoned boys who can’t deal with their booboo issues and keep commenting: YOU’RE NOW SCREW ZONED! Get over it and if not? Screw you 🙂


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