Pink Princess

There are two things that I want so badly and that will never happen. In order to understand my way of thinking, it is necessary that you know these things. I’m not ashamed of them, it’s just who I am. But I certainly know it is not perfectly normal either.

Al right. First of all: I want the world to be pink. Everything. The trees, grass, houses and people. I know that this might sound weird, but try to picture it. A world of pinkness. Pink makes me happy. It makes me feel like I am in love. It makes me wanna smile. And I know not everyone feels the same way but gosh, a pink world seems just the right thing to do. I had this phase in life when like all my clothes where pink. Most girls have this phase around the age of 8 years old. I was 14. I bought pink clothes, a pink camera, I had a pink room (which by the way still is very pink) and I even started using another brand of toothpaste which I didn’t like that much, just because the toothpaste is pink.

Yep. I am an overexcited person and I am sure overexcited about pink.

The second thing you must know is that I want to be a princess. Ever since I dated my first ‘real’ boyfriend, I told him I was a princess. When he got mad I whined “But I am your princess right?” and I called myself; Princess Britt. This wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t get overexcited. Unfortunately I did. A while ago I turned 21 and even though I’m not screaming that I’m a princess anymore, at least not when anyone can hear it, I still have these weak moments. I have 2 tiaras at my house in Holland and I put them on my head every once in a while, and of course I wear them on my birthday. It is not I would like to be a real princess you know. All the formal stuff. I am way too immature for all of that. Way to active on Facebook as well. It’s just that I’m a spoiled person with a very good life and thus I feel like a princess.

Now you know. Now you know I want the world to be pink, because it makes me happy. And that I don’t have a descent reason to wanna be a princess at all.

Princess Britt of the Pink World. I’ll keep on  dreaming!
Oh, and if you ever feel like you should starting painting this world pink, don’t hesitate!
Schermafbeelding 2012-08-19 om 19.05.48
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The Friend Zone

(September 2012)

One day you’re in, and the next day you’re out. Worst-case scenario? You’ll stay around and become a member of the zone. The zone no one wants to be in. Where hope and faith is all what’s left. It’s like prison, and you’ll probably never get out. Beware of the friend zone!

It’s such a hot topic. Every time I post a status about hanging out with one of my best male friends, I can guarantee there’ll be a comment about the friend zone. These comments are made by boys, of course. No girl will ever say out loud, or at least not on Facebook, that she friend zoned a particular friend. It’s like kicking a dude in his privates: very painful and not done. What is the friend zone?

Like I said, the friend zone is the place guys don’t wanna be in. At least not when they are interested in becoming more than friends with a girl. Boy tries to hook up with girl. Girl doesn’t wanna hurt boy. Girl tells boy he is such a good friend. BAM! Boy got friend zoned. As simple as it sounds, as simple it is. Where is the friend zone?

The friend zone is around almost every girl. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a beautiful, smart or funny female person. It can be the silly girl next door. It only involves one boy, one girl and one broken heart that’s begging to be healed. The friend zone as a verb.

I friend zone. I friend zoned. I have friend zoned. I will friend zone him. I am going to friend zone him. He has been friend zoned. She has friend zoned him. He will be friend zoned. Boys boys boys.

I’m annoyed by all those boys who are using the term friend zone. Why? Because it makes them look like wussies. Like jealous b**ches.

Example: My best male friend is M. M has been my friend since I’m 14, which is 7 years ago. Maybe back then he liked me more than a friend, but as far as I know he’s always been there for me as a friend. He never tried to kiss me, nor to seduce me. I don’t see M that often since I’m spending a lot of time abroad. But whenever I’m with him, it feels like yesterday we hung out. So yesterday M and I just chilled for a while. We talked, we laughed and got serious about some issues. We took pictures and posted them on Facebook, and of course someone had to comment something about the friend zone. Background information: this particular person had asked me out and I never responded to his message. If he and I would be friends, I’m sure HE would def.  be a member of my friend zone.

Like one hour later I posted on Facebook what a great friend M is. And BAM: a comment about the friend zone. The guy who commented is just an ex-colleague of mine. No ditching involved. But still, I don’t understand why he thought it would be funny to make such a bitchy comment, while I just had a blast with M. Of course M didn’t seem to care. I mean, he’s the one spending time with me and probably couldn’t care less about people who are only enjoying my existence from a distance, but I can imagine he felt embarrassed when someone he didn’t know told him he got friend zoned.

To conclude my speech, I’d like to emphasize that it really ISN’T necessary to tell my friends they got friend zoned. Probably it isn’t necessary to tell anyone that you don’t know.

So to all those heart broken, jealous, friend zoned boys who can’t deal with their booboo issues and keep commenting: YOU’RE NOW SCREW ZONED! Get over it and if not? Screw you 🙂

My perfect life

I like to say that I love my life. I really do. It’s been so freaking good so far and I’m amazed by the fact it’s even getting better!
Living a perfect life is normal for me and I thought it was normal for most people. I mean, if you don’t think your life is amazing, why wouldn’t you change it? I know it’s not as easy as it sounds, but I’m a ‘black-and-white thinker’ which means in my world your life can either be super good or just fucked up…

I posted a collage about my life last week. A good friend of my family told me it’s so good to see people talking positively about their lives, instead of complaining about all the bad things. I am a complainer. I like complaining. But I’m aware that I have so much luck. Being born in a first world country. Having travelled so much already at such a young age…

When I studied in Florida I learned that not everyone lives the perfect life. It made me cry. I had this amazing AP Literature class. It was amazing because of the ridiculously brilliant teacher: Michael Persaud. He taught us so much more than literature. I think I’m gonna write a post about this man some day. Anyway, one day he told us we were gonna play this game where you all stand on an invisible line. Mr. Persaud asked us questions like “Have you ever skipped dinner just because there was no food?” and “Does anyone in your family have a Bachelor degree or higher?” Depending on your answer to his question (yes or no) you had to step forward or backward. During this game I could hardly believe that my friends had gone through such terrible things. Parents in jail, no money for clothes… I cried so much because for 18 years I had just been to naïve to see that not everyone was living a perfect life and that I had to be more than satisfied with mine.

I have experienced what life can be because I travelled. Not because I have had any bad things in my life.
I know how hard life can be and I appreciate that I didn’t have to go through all kinds of rough things to learn this.

The worst thing that has happened to me was losing a friend. It was three days after I told one of my friends that I have such a good life. Tyler died young. I don’t think he thought his life was so perfect, but he participated in making my year in Florida unforgettable!

I’m not sure if I’ll grow old. But I sure as hell lived the fuck out of my perfect life 😉

Haast

(Augustus 2012)Je zal ze nooit vergeten. De meiden uit ‘jouw groepje’ waarmee je de kleuterklas doorliep. Waarmee je je eerste roddels uitwisselde en ruzie maakte over de naam van je Baby Born. Waarmee een handdruk en een simpele “Vrienden?” ruzies oploste en je kettinkjes mee kocht die lieten zien dat jullie voor altijd beste vriendinnen zouden blijven. Het was allemaal zo simpel.

Mijn groepje leek erg hecht. 8 leuke jaren hebben we gehad, maar sinds we de Bavinckschool verlieten zijn we nooit meer als groepje samen geweest. Plannen voor reünies hebben we gemaakt. Af en toe contact via MSN, Hyves en tegenwoordig Facebook is er ook geweest, maar verder dan de status updates van Joanny liken of een berichtje uitwisselen met Melissa kom ik niet.
Uit het oog uit het hart? Geen tijd? Of zijn we gewoon uit elkaar gegroeid? Het maakte niet veel uit. Tot eergisteren. Kiki plaatste een foto die me met een ruk terugbracht naar het schoolplein van toen. Een foto van een echo. Van het kindje dat in haar buik groeit.
Al die tijd maakte ik mezelf wijs dat er niet zo veel veranderd was en dat we gewoon weer konden meeten met het idee nog allemaal hetzelfde te zijn. Dom en naïef natuurlijk, want ook ik ben niet meer het zelfde meisje als toen. We zijn verliefd geworden, hebben mensen verloren, verre reizen gemaakt en levenservaring opgedaan waar de rest van het groepje niets van afweet. En toch zijn we ergens nog steeds de Bavinckgirls die het Team van Happy Clean moesten spelen tijdens de musical van groep 8.
Nu gaat er iets veranderen. Sinds ik DE foto heb gezien ben ik een beetje in de war. Want het is toch een feit dat Kiki een gezin gaat stichten. Ze wordt moeder! Hoeveel meisjes hebben dat wel niet onder het kopje ‘Wat ik later worden wil’ geschreven. En Kiek? Kiki is de eerste! Het is onwerkelijk en natuurlijk zou het er eens van komen. Maar nu heb ik haast. Geen haast om een vriend te vinden, een vaste baan te hebben of zwanger te worden. Maar haast om nog één keer met het groepje van toen samen te zijn voordat de eerste Bavinckbaby ter wereld komt.
In dit geval is uit het hoog niet uit het hart en met het oog op de kleine in Kiki’s buik kan ik niet wachten om nog heel even samen te zijn zonder dat de wereld me wederom duidelijk maakt dat we volwassen worden. En dat de tijd dat we Doen Durf of de Waarheid speelden langer geleden is dan ik dacht.
*De reünie is er ook daadwerkelijk geweest en was ontzettend gezellig. Zo leuk dat we nog steeds contact hebben. Kiki is in januari bevallen van een super mooie zoon: Morris. We gaan hem snel bewonderen!*